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Aren't we all great pretenders? [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

[ Hello, | there ]
[ Watch | My ]
[ Dying | Youth ]

No sleep tonight. [Feb. 5th, 2010|10:45 am]
[Current Music |a skylit drive - the all star diaries]

everything, everyone. I wanna explode.
Spinning tales, affirming this, reassuring that.
I dont like it.
I dont fucking like it.
I'm more stubborn than I think I am.
Trust, Trust,Trust, Just fuck it.
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Jonny Craig - I still feel her [Jan. 31st, 2010|09:04 pm]
[Current Mood | cranky]

How far back, can you remember?
Did the ice stop your heart?
Oh wait, that was me,
Oh wait that was me.
I froze to death.
My last words choking your breath.

Do the words I still love you?
Can you secure its claim,
Bottled up like smoke floating over flames?

I have no soul, no conscience.
Floating for one meaning.
Three words, I left you with
Three words, I left you with
 


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(no subject) [Jan. 31st, 2010|09:01 pm]


Let me give you an analysis of what I think of this picture.
First, the girl in the picture does'nt face the camera, her back is evident but her face is not when that feature is the most important so she does'nt want to show the world who she really is, her face, her eyes so no one would judge her. So she wears black, for a fashion statement to tell the world she's bothered about anything, when deep down everything affects her. Wearing black is her shield. 
 She's at the edge of a cliff, probably. Sitting at the edge, she wants to let go but is too afraid of greater depths ahead. So she sits at the edge, still, anxious. She does'nt move probably waiting for a reason one day to get on her feet and decide. Right now, not gonna happen.
So she looks ahead, past the waters into the horizon. Wanting, Hoping that there is something out there for that she thinks is better. Just longing for an escape into something different. Hunched shoulders, a sign of burden, knowing want she wants might not happen, its all wishful thinking. 
Hence the text, ' I dont know what I want, but I dont want this'
Immature statement.

I feel like her right now.
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It might kill me. [Jan. 5th, 2010|11:05 pm]
[Current Mood |awake]
[Current Music |Decode]

its days when I feel like fuck, I wish I had my old addiction again.

It's so amazingly scary how songs can change your mood, I was nolstalgic one second, now I'm ambitious, challenging myself, somewhat rebelling against the course of where my life is going, to screw things up just to see what happen, to see if I can stand the consequence and let it be another experience in my life along with all the other mistakes, and thr scary part is, if anything does get screwed I might actually live with it and move on, I won't let it affect me and that's the end of another story. It's frightening, cause I feel fearless. I'm listening to the same song over and over again, and its this song before t came out that helped my gained my strength, its all in its guitar cords and beats and lyrics. Memories flashing to and fro, all which instigates the same emotions I felt each time. It's times like this I feel like not giving a fuck, and doing my own thing. Free. Alive.
Would you choose the road that lays clean, straight ahead of you with the clearest blue skies or the one that loses light along the way, you dont know what lays beyond it?
 


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another world. [Jan. 3rd, 2010|10:54 pm]
[Current Mood | exhausted]
[Current Music |Just my imagination - gwyneth paltrow]

 

I'm back from philippines, my hair's shorter, skin darkened and I think i put on a bit of weight too.
It was a sweet vacation, seeing everywhere, all old or married, or young and annoying and everything.
Rivers, mountains, endless plains of rice terraces, cool calming chill every dawn and evening.
that's the rural side on the other hand in the city
Dust, smoke, worn-out building, wires sticking out towards the sky, busy roads, hot terrible weather.
You see the big difference between here and there, everything here is new, advanced, clean
where its the exact opposite there.
But the rural side is beautiful. The people there are simple, they dont complain even if they dont have air-conditioned buses.
They live their life with what they have.
I ate 3 meals a day, every single day, and ate some taboo delicacies.
On Christmas day, I sneaked out rode on my cousin bike at 2am in the morning, came back to my whole village waiting for me outside with the 'faces'. ADRENALINE!
I visited my aunty's farm and saw all the animals you can imagine, caught a cute yellow chick! 
 Went swimming in a river with crystal clear water, caught tiny fishes
Gave away an award at a show to a small kid
Went shopping!
Almost got robbed in the city, came back with some clean slash on my bag, but thank god there was another lining inside or the damn pickpocket would have gotten what he wanted!
and of course, the bonding with the family priceless, even with the communication barrier I picked up a few words here and there.
I'm gonna miss all their beaming faces and the simplicity of life there. I could just walk out the front door, carefree pass the main road and into another relatives house. while here, you need a reason to go out pass the front gate.
yep, I'm gonna miss all that alright.

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Good Clean Fun. [Dec. 15th, 2009|11:08 pm]
[Current Mood | drained]

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Where's the lime, sweetheart. [Dec. 14th, 2009|12:22 am]
[Current Mood | mischievous]


Chalet, tmr. Awesome(:
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(no subject) [Dec. 11th, 2009|10:57 pm]
I feel some part of my dying everytime you use that tone with me. I'm just shit in your eyes.
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when I still secretly do. [Dec. 9th, 2009|12:08 am]
I'm here, where are you.
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(no subject) [Dec. 7th, 2009|11:29 pm]

I look high in the second picture. HAHA.
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